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Farewell
to Abby (4/30/09)
This is one of the most
difficult entries I've made in a long, long
time. Early this morning, around 8:40, our dear
dog Abby left this world. Abby was 15+ years old
and was one of the smartest dogs I've ever been
around. She was certainly the smartest dog ever
we've ever had in our family and we miss her
already.
Technically, Abby was
Kristy's dog. On the day we got her, I carried
her home from the kennel and we think she bonded with
me during those 45-minutes. That's not to say
Abby wasn't a family dog...she was. She was
that - perfect with Zach and Hannah as they were
growing up, and a great neighborhood dog, and a cabin
dog, and a camping dog. Abby was just a super
all-around dog.
From a personal point
of view, Abby was my paddling partner. I can't
count the number of times she joined me in my kayak or
canoe. Abby loved the other boats too, but she
was a kayak dog. If she saw me climb into my
kayak, I had better plan to take her along because she
was going paddling too. Abby loved to chase my
radio-controlled water boats. There were a
number of times she fell off the dock chasing those
boats. Abby was a snake hunting dog. I
don't think she ever missed finding a snake sunning
itself on the rocks along the water in front of our
cabin. Just as special was her temperament.
Abby did have her yippy moments, but often those were
pure happiness. We never had to tie her up and
used a leash only to assure she didn't get hit by a
car when we walked. Often the walks were too
much for her, so we carried her most of the way, but
that was OK.
Life for Abby became
difficult during February of 2008. For some
unknown reason Abby took off running when we hadn't
seen it. She was missing for 8-hours and we had
almost written her off for dead. I laid in bed
struggling to figure out where she must be.
After all, it was a wet, late winter snowstorm and we
didn't want her to die a terrible death. I got
up, waking Kristy in the process. I explained to
Kristy that Abby had to be within a 4-block range due
to natural barriers that I didn't think she would
cross. Sure enough, about 4-blocks away we found
Abby walking in circles under a street light with the
rain/snow drenching her shivering body. She came
to me and knew she was safe again. She never
repeated that incident, but she also was never quite
the same. Don't misunderstand me...she still got
excited with us and still had playful moments, but
physically and mentally she was a different
dog.
We all cared about Abby
just as much before her incident, but she was
different. We adapted to our new Abby, but
missed the old Abby too. After we had adjusted
to Abby and finally began to stop wondering what
caused her episode, she hurt herself. Bichon's
are prone to back injuries and apparently Abby injured
her back recently. At first she couldn't raise
her tail. Then she walked funny, followed by
developing a distinctly humped-back. Over the
past few weeks she had many, many instances of
unexplained falls. Within the last two weeks her
mobility had deteriorated to the point that we would
have to hold up her back end so she could relieve
herself. If we didn't lift her back end up, she
would fall/drop into her mess. Compounding the
situation were her frequent loss of control of her
bladder and bowels. Often Abby would fall over
and was unable to right herself. The panic in
her eyes as she thrashed on the floor cut like a
knife.
Kristy and I and the
kids recognized the need to do something, as difficult
as it would be. I made an appointment with Andy
- Abby's vet yesterday. The agreement was to
have Andy look her over today to determine what, if
anything, could be done. If no practical options
existed, we would accept that Abby would join her
litter mates in another world. Andy was very
understanding and sensitive as he examined and tested
Abby for sensations. Ironically, she had one of
her better mornings today, but still gimped around in
his office. She had virtually no sensation in
the lame rear quarter. When Abby's age, partial
blindness, epilepsy/seizure disorder, and mobility
problems were weighed against her good days, we acknowledged
that her quality of life was not good - poor at
best. Rather than prolong the inevitable and
continue to watch her fall in her own droppings, or
walk around the house with her head hanging low - as
if her dignity was gone, or have her die alone during
a seizure, we opted to allow Andy to peacefully end
her struggle.
I held Abby close as
the tranquilizer was administered and Kristy comforted
her with gentle petting and kissed her goodbye.
When she was sleeping very soundly, in fact snoring
like our beagle, the next dose of medications was
given to stop her heart. The process was
peaceful, quick, and painless for Abby. For
Kristy and I the pain is intense...........and to
think we are this broken up over a little dog.....
Kristy asked me
yesterday why God has us suffer through this pain -
the pain of making such a difficult decision, the pain
of watching Abby struggle, and the pain of not knowing
what the next day would be like for Abby. My
response was that I don't think the pain that we were
feeling was God's intent. My belief is that the
pain is there to help us realize that each day we have
is special - whether those days are spent with a
favorite dog, a family member, or with a friend.
Sometimes we need those reminders since we so often
take life and our blessings for granted.
So now here we
are. Kristy was the first to notice the
unnatural quiet in the house without the clicking of
Abby as she pranced across the floor. I am
struggling to share my emotions for a little lap dog
that I was so attached to. Both of us are almost
stunned with our loss.
Life will go on and we
will do our best to put our situation into perspective
- after all, there are many people suffering through
much, much greater losses. For these few minutes
though, Abby deserves top billing as far as Kristy and
I are concerned. Farewell Abby...we miss you
already....
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